Spring is in the air and this week, I celebrated by taking a day off and hitting the road with a friend on a major shopping excursion. As most women will attest, shopping for a swimsuit is one of life’s most discouraging experiences. I needed moral support.
We were on a mission, so we headed south outta town to the land of many malls and clothing stores. What we found was beyond hideous. I can tell you that apparently, this season’s swimsuit color is BROWN.
Realistically, I had to go on this shopping trip because the last time I bought a swimsuit was about 10 years ago, so let’s just say it was time. I can see why I put off the purchase for so long. I have never seen so many putrid brown swimsuits in my life. They were everywhere…TJ Maxx, Ross, Target, Macy’s, J.C. Penny…you name it, the brown uglies were there.
I want to know what moron designer out there thinks a swimsuit the color of dog doo makes you look pretty on the beach?
The brown motif is particularly unattractive since most of the designs also are coupled with patterns that looked like they were dragged out of some time capsule from 1973. We’re talking seriously hideous swirly brown, pink and lime green.
In the end, I did find what were apparently the last two non-brown swimsuits in Northern Idaho. So sorry ladies, they’re gone. I hope you look good in brown; I sure don’t.