Over the years, I have determined that I’m not the only person who seems to relive conversations in my head. It’s a relief to know that others share my tendency to endlessly ruminate on what I “should have said.” Even a paltry discussion can replay in your head, until you’re ready to just tell your subconscious to shut up.
For example, the other day, I was standing around with some people I know and someone commented that my hair is redder than it was. A couple of weeks ago, I hennaed it, so my hair definitely looks different. I responded by saying, I’ve been so sick of the gray weather, I had to do something to cheer myself up. Except that I don’t think I actually said the word “weather.”
Since that point, I’ve been wondering if all these people think I have gray hair. Did I say, I’m “sick of the gray” not “sick of the gray weather?” I actually don’t HAVE gray hair and apparently some deep subconscious part of me is disturbed that I might have given the impression that I do, since my little brain won’t shut up about it.
It’s moments like these when I remember why my junior high and high school years were so miserable. It seems that as you get older, you have fewer of these types of stupid instant replay conversations (or at least I do). But in junior high and high school, those types of thoughts ruled my mind.
Everyone whines about getting older, but I have to say it’s not all bad. I only experience glimpses of my high school mind occasionally, which is good. Life is too short to relive every little incident over and over like that. Once is enough 😉