Your life affects your business. Sometimes it’s good; sometimes it’s not. We experienced the bad first-hand last month. In our case, our beloved Cami, the dog who graces the covers of two of my books (Happy Hound and Funds to the Rescue) suddenly got sick and died of cancer. It was an emotional upheaval filled with many vet trips and tears.
If you aren’t a pet owner, you may not understand grieving for “just a dog.” But consider what happened to a friend of mine. Last November, her teenage daughter was driving down the highway and her car was “t-boned” by another car. In an instant, everything in their lives changed. After weeks in intensive care and months of physical therapy and rehabilitation, the daughter is going to be okay, but longer-term effects linger even now.
Suffice it to say life happens.
Big life changes can get in the way of working and writing. Writing requires a lot of concentration. When it’s how you make a living, you can’t just say, “I don’t feel like it.” So how can you write when you can barely even think?
I’ve been pondering this question a lot lately, so here are a few suggestions.
1. Communicate what’s going on. In my case, the whole experience with Cami happened in the middle of several large client projects. One of my clients called when I was expecting a call from the vet, so I inadvertently answered the phone. I was a weepy mess, and not surprisingly, she asked me what was wrong. I told her and she was sympathetic. The project is still moving forward. It’s not the end of the world to tell your clients you are upset. You are a human being first, after all. I also rescheduled a radio show. The guest understood why I needed to make the change. People can be kind when you give them the chance to be.
2. Realize that writing takes longer when you can’t concentrate. If it normally takes you two hours to write an article for your newsletter, double it. Batch your appointments so you can give yourself large blocks of uninterrupted writing time. Mustering up enough concentration to write is going to take longer when you are upset and thinking about things in your life other than your writing topic. In our case, I’ve pushed back a couple of internal deadlines we had for the Self-Publishers Online Conference.
3. Don’t try to be a hero. For many years, I have done weekly newsletters. I had been considering switching to every other week, but resisted it. After so much stress, I told my readers that I was switching both newsletters to every other week. The world has not come to an end, and I received some surprisingly supportive emails from readers. Just because you have been doing something the same way for a long time doesn’t mean you have to forever. Give yourself a break.
4. Be kind to yourself. I’m all for setting goals and planning, but you can’t know when life is suddenly going to throw you a curve ball. You may not make as much money this year as you’d hoped. That’s okay. Take time out to be good to yourself. All the standard recommendations apply: eat well, exercise, and spend time with friends and loved ones. You shouldn’t forget about work entirely, but it doesn’t have to be the be-all and end-all of your existence. In our case, James and I have been going on long driving “excursions” and spending more time exploring the beautiful area in which we live. Getting out has helped a lot.
5. Nothing is forever. At this point, I’m still working on this idea. I’m emotionally exhausted and still missing Cami terribly. But like they say, “this too shall pass.” Life is a journey. I’ve got more books and a lot more writing left in me and it will all happen at some point.
I’m sure your books will happen too.